He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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