I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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