Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
