I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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