The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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