I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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