Umm I'm too high to move.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
