Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
