So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize