I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
