I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
