census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
