I got chris browned last night
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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