Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
