we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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