I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
