the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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