i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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