Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
