i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
