I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
