I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
