I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
