Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize