Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
