Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
