doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So drunk its hurt
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
