i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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