I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
