Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
