Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Pants are for mortals
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
