he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize