# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
