Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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