I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
