ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
