I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You made out with two different species that night
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
