if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
