My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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