I hate all girls vehemently.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
