i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
