One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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