And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
