Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
