Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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