I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
