no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
