I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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