I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
