well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
