you have to choose: penises or morals?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How does one acquire holy water?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize