Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
