Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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