Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
