I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
