did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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