I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
