i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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