Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
